The Moon Landing - What Really Happened

After more than 50yrs of silence the time is now up for the biggest cover-up in human history. Apollo 11 did land on the Moon. However, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin were not the two men who walked on its surface for the first time.

Instead, this accolade should rightfully go to my Dad and his brother Alan. Not only did they build the Saturn V rocket, command module and lunar entry module and all the other accoutrements to make a successful landing and walk on the Moon, but all the work was carried out in complete secrecy in a council house in Swansea!

Allow me to explain. The entire project was constructed in the back garden shed of the house on Geiriol Road using old motorbike parts, lengths of old telephone and electrical cable with the main body of the rocket being made from salvaged phone boxes and bits of air-raid shelter left over from the last war. Its whole construction went unnoticed as the sound of banging, hammering and bad language in that part of Swansea was considered normal.

The fact that something was going on would have been noticed by very few and this was due to the path to the shed being straightened out to make getting the rocket in and out easier. However, after my Nan discovered both Dad and Uncle Alan working on parts of the rocket on the kitchen table, as the shed was a bit cold in the winter work was delayed until a paraffin heater could be purchased using Nan’s Green Shield Stamps.

All family members worked on the project as Nan and Auntie Mary’s old Singer sewing machines were pressed into service of the project as they made the space-suits and parachutes. In the meantime, Grandpa was the main source of funding, spending hours studying the form in the Racing Post and placing all his invalidity pension on every sure fire winner he could – even if sometimes the horse was a knackered, three legged ex-brewers dray!

Construction was halted briefly when in 1967 my Dad decided to get married, but this reaped benefits as both my Mother and other Grandma were drafted into the programme to supply the food for the mission in the form of tinned ham and tea that my Grandma had been stockpiling since the start of the Korean War. 

Surprisingly, approaching the day of the launch nobody in Swansea noticed the towering 363ft rocket in the middle of the road, and just put it down to the council wasting rate-payers money again. It garnered only a few letters of complaint in the Evening Post. The launch was nearly postponed as my Mother went into labour (with me) and my Dad had to take her into Mount Pleasant Hospital, still wearing his space suit and helmet. He offered to postpone the launch in order to stay for the birth but was told in no uncertain terms his presence was not required!

After getting back to the launch site the rocket was duly started using the battery of my Dad’s Hillman Minx and they were off on the voyage of a lifetime. The journey to the Moon went very smoothly once they had worked out they were holding the AA map the wrong way up. After the first 24hrs my Dad was desperate for a smoke and Uncle Alan insisted he go outside with his pipe and tobacco as he didn’t want the rocket stinking of Condor! On getting outside and trying to light up, he found that there was no oxygen and would have to make the mission without smoking! He consequently managed to coin the phrase ‘In space no one can hear you scream’ this was later used by Ridley Scott for the film Alien.

The landing on the Moon was quite easy once they had got the handbrake on the entry module to release and landed on the surface and Dad was often heard to say that it was ‘Easier than driving that Hillman Imp of your Alan!’ Then came the historic moment of the first Moon walk, they both donned their carefully sewn space suits and then opened the hatch and stepped out onto the lunar surface with the words:

‘What the ‘ell is going on ere! Oi, wus, have you seen the state of this place? I don’t think Ma is going to be that impressed with getting a rock for a door-stop. It will have to do though as I don’t think they’ll be selling special tea-towels or oven gloves here!’

After a few hours of jumping up and down the novelty of reduced gravity soon wore off and they loaded up a few shopping bags with rock for the family, bump started the engine and headed off for home, this time with the map the right way up!

For many years after their return from the Moon, Dad would often play back the cine film of the landing and show us the old silver motorbike helmet he wore during the mission and regale us with the tale that him and Uncle Alan went to the Moon. I was able to say in school that my Dad was an astronaut but he gave it all up to work as an electrician in the steelworks.

As you can see the Americans had more money and the expertise of Hollywood to make it look like they had landed on the Moon in July 1969, but I know the truth and that’s why I’m writing this now.